Rejected Mailbag

This Mailbag is reserved for all mail received at [mailto:cwcipedia@virginia.usa.com cwcipedia@virginia.usa.com] that have offensive, or mislabeling, content that I, Christian W. Chandler, would not care to respond to, yet they are not ignored, or if I feel the messages are not appropriate conversation topics to remain in the mailbag, but are answerable.

Emails
From: Howard Winslow  A friend of mine wrote some excellent fan stories I thought you'd like:

http://tinyurl.com/y8u75yy

Sincerely, Howard Winslow@undefined

From: Bernard Stephens  OMG!!!111 Love the comic!! Me and my boyfriend Mark listen to the audiobooks all the time! LUVS IT BABE!! Have a safe day, and STAY STRAIG- er, I mean, STAY FABULOUS!!! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo Bernard and everyone else here at Gay4Sonichu http://gay4sonichu.yuku.com/ love it!!!!!@undefined

From: Steven Clark  I love your brown shirt and guitar skills you are so dreamy. keep up the good work! sonichu is the best DONT LET THAT IAN BRANDON ANDERSON GET YOU DOWN@undefined

From: xanatosvanbadass@aim.com Good to see you making the comics again! I hope you make to to keep them out of the hands of that naive fat bastard Ian Brandon Anderson so he won't slander your good name! P.S. I hope you and Kacey are living happily married lives.@undefined

From: Thorgnzorrg Jenkins  I love Sonichu but as a gay, black atheist, I'm in somewhat of a minority. All of the black characters in Sonichu are either goofy or antagonistic, gay characters aren't shown in a good light, and as far as I can tell everyone in CWCville is a devout Christian. I love your comics and audiobooks, but they loose their appeal when I can't relate to any of the characters. Please consider including a gay, black, or atheist character in your comic. Thank you.@undefined

From: Thorgnzorrg Jenkins  I love Sonichu but as a gay, black atheist, I'm in somewhat of a minority. All of the black characters in Sonichu are either goofy or antagonistic, gay characters aren't shown in a good light, and as far as I can tell everyone in CWCville is a devout Christian. I love your comics and audiobooks, but they loose their appeal when I can't relate to any of the characters. Please consider including a gay, black, or atheist character in your comic. Thank you.@undefined

From: statxfan89@aim.com Dear Chris-chan,

I just discovered Sonichu a few days ago, and I've got to say, I'm a little disappointed to see you've completely ripped off Static the Pikachu (found at http://statx015.deviantart.com/gallery/#Static-the-Pikachu). ; Sonichu is a poor man's Static, too. The comic, quite frankly, looks like it's drawn by a retard using Crayola markers, and the writing is no better. Sonichu, unlike Static, has no personality. He's just the same as all the other characters, and has a personality as deep as kiddie pool.

And now I read you've gone and lied to the government, claiming you've invented Sonichu? What a load. It's bigshots like you who steal from the little guy and screw him over by defrauding the government, abusing the laws for their own gain (like people who collect welfare when they could just go get a job and serve a function to the society outside being a leech) who really get to me.

I suppose you can just ignore this letter, delete this comments, but ignoring it and ignoring me won't make me or my ideas just disappear. We'll reveal you for the fake you are, "Christian" (that's not even your God given name! Your real name was Christopher until you stole Christian from the Conductor Bear!).

You're a phony! Your a big fat phony!

Sincerely,

Mark, from Missouri@undefined

From: almighty truth  Dear Christian Weston Chandler, My name is Zechariah Edwardo Nillson, I am a HUGE fan of sonichu. I am also a sufferer of Aspergers, I like you comics because I find your struggles in life similar to mine and can relate to them. So I was wondering why does it "grind your gears" to have high functioning autism and aspergers compared? They are infat very similar, if you go to the following site, http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/high-functioning-autism they directly cmpare the two and state that they are very similar.

To qoute the page:

"High-functioning autism is at one end of the ASD spectrum. Signs and symptoms are less severe than with other forms of autism. In fact, a person with high-functioning autism usually has average or above average intelligence. The differences from other forms of autism have led many psychiatrists to consider high-functioning autism as similar to or the same as Asperger's syndrome.

Whether it's labeled high-functioning autism or Asperger's syndrome, coping with this condition presents daily challenges -- for those who have it and for their family and friends."

Im very glad that you are making comics so regularly and I hope that youl please rethink your stance on Aspergers syndrome.

Peace.@undefined

From: Thorgnzorrg Jenkins  Yes Christian, you are ignoring the questions and comments in your "Rejected Mailbag". By not responding to them, you're ignoring them. It doesn't matter whether or not you would "care to respond to them". For someone who loves to dish out homophobia, racism, and religious bigotry you seem to have a hard time taking the heat when somone questions it. Do you know what that makes you? A coward. You're nothing but a naive, arrogant, selfish coward, and you wonder why you have such bad luck with women? Cowardice isn't a respectable trait, women don't find it attractive. People like you make me sick. I can't believe I spent so much time reading your comics when they were nothing more than venues to express your hatred and bigotry. Good day, coward.@undefined

From: Mark Reynolds  Is there any way you would let anyone help you not to be a pathetic loser? I want to help you out. If you ever finally decide to actually live life and not be stuck as you are let me know.@undefined

From: Sexy Joe Stalin  Chris, What happened to the Sonichu I used to love? Fame has changed you, man.

Sincerely, Sexy Joe Stalin (a fan of the REAL Sonichu)@undefined

From: Gourmet Pickle  Hello Chris. How's the creation of the Sonichu universe going? I have two questions that have been bothering me recently. 1. What's so bad about pickles? Personally, I love them. 2. This one is very serious. Is it really possible to catch gayness from a homo? I ask because my brother is a gay. We're really close and hang out a lot. I am a straight male such as your self, and I was hoping to get some insight on whether or not it's safe to hang out with my bro anymore. Have a great day and please respond.@undefined

From: grrrlpowaanow@aol.com i love your comic, chris. i am a 14 year old christian girl (raised devout baptist), and let me tell you, there is not enough christian literature out there, so i am glad you are making your comics. i do have some questions about them.

1. i really really LOVE your mailbag feature. do you plan to keep it up for a while? please say you will!

2. when will the sonichu game be released? i thought it was supposed to be out by now. i asked santa to get it for me for christmas but my dad said they didn't make that game

3. i noticed all the chaotic combo have parents. wild has a mom and a dad. bubbles had just a mom (or was swampert her dad?). punchy just had a dad. magi-chan just had a dad. angelica, however, has two mommies (two female nuns). as a christian woman, i am offended that angelica was raised in such an immoral household. a lot of chauvinistic pigs think lesbians are hot as in pretty, but god thinks they're hot as in theyre going to hell (as well as anyone who enjoys lesbian pornography or any pornography for that matter). i thought this was supposed to be a good christian comic! so why are there lesbians in it? and when will you remove these heathens from this comic?

4. the relationship between zapina and simonla seems unnatural. simonla acts as a bad, unchristian rolemodel in sonichu 9, where she basically encourages the (UNDERAGE) zapina to have pre-marital sex. pre-marital sex is wrong with the bible and wrong with god, chris. when will you fix this error?

5. whether theyre married or not, it is wrong for sonichu and rosechu to be having sex in the comics (or in any picture or photograph). the bible is very clear that intercourse is meant to be between a man and a woman, not a man, a woman, and an entire audience of readers, especially when those readers are potentially underage. ive even seen pictures of them where rosechu was a man and sonichu was a man and it is definitely against the bible for man and man to lay together. when will you remove these pornographies from the face of the internet? pornography is a SIN. god sends people to hell for it. your christian readership deserves nothing less than sonichu and rosechu to have a perfect spotlessly clean presence on the internet, and yet theyre being sullied by pictures drawn by you in your style of them engaging in sex.

6. the scene where rosechu press her bikini area against the mans face in the 4cent garbage building comic was disgusting, revolting, and a complete mockery to all women everywhere. i almost stopped reading the comic after that issue. when will you correct the ending to reflect a more christian, pro-female rights message?

thank you for reading my questions. sorry if there were a lot but i look forward to answers@undefined

From: Gabe Newell 

Hello Christian, this is Gabe.

Some friends of mine showed me your 'Sonichu' creation during my second lunch break at work yesterday, and I felt it necesarry to inform you that despite what you may think, Sonichu is not an original character.

First, Sonichu is an amalgamation of Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu, and nothing more. He is not original, nor can you copyright his image. Nor will you ever be able to sell 'official' Sonichu merchandise- to do that would land you in a lawsuit for copyright infringement. Second, SEGA and Nintendo will never, ever make a Sonichu game with, or for you. No matter how many 'fans' you may have, this will never change. You have been made aware of this fact many times before, yet you refuse to acknowledge it. And finally, for someone who is searching for a 'boyfriend-free girl', as you say, you are going the wrong way about it. Girls aren't interested in guys in their late twenties who live with their parents and live off of taxpayer's money. They aren't interested in guys who spend most of their time playing video games, drawing comics, and playing with transformer toys, especially when their bedroom is full of said toys and smells strange. And, they aren't interested in your Sonichu necklace. You aren't going to find anyone if you continue iving as you are now. And, if you intend to care for a wife and daughter, as you do, you must get a real job. Drawing Sonichu comics is not a real job. Doing chores is not a real job. Neither is stacking shelves in a supermarket.

If you want to change, you must put away Sonichu, and find a source of income instead of waiting for the welfare check to arrive every month. Then, I suggest finding a new place to live; you can't live with mom and dad forever.

Do yourself a favour, and take the advice given.

-Gabe@undefined

From: Darren Heimbach  Ive been a true fan of Sonichu for a while. When a lot of people gave up on Sonichu after seeing you disrespect your real fans by posting videos of you drinking semen and fucking blowup dolls, I stuck by you. Now I really wonder why.

Why cant you answer the mailbag daily, and why do you only answer letters with short, two sentence replies? Its not like you have a job or anything, and its really disrepectful toward your fans. You could spend more time DAILY to answer your FAN MAIL.

Please show more respect to your true fans and answer the mailbag daily, and with more than just a couple words. We deserve it.@undefined

From: mr.suchi suchisuchi  its mr suchi again i just realized i was wrong. you are not retarded but only somewhat autistic. this changes everything. you should improve your drawing its not good enough. honestly. i'm telling you as a friend. and stop harrassing women. because thats what your doing. they say you are racist. tell me, what do you think of the jews? because i'm a jew. do you hate me for being a jew? bye@undefined

From: x_dprk_rulz_x@yahoo.com Hello Mister Chandler. I am speaking on behalf of America's biggest Asian American advocacy group. Some of the parents in here have let their children read the comics, and are very offended at your, character Punchy.

Punchy seems like a racist stereotype to us, with his slanted eyes and martial arts skills. Some of us have boycotted your comics. I know you mean, Mister Chandler, but please explain yourself.

PS: My father is looking into politics. My grandfather was a popular politician here, and he wants to follow in his footsteps, but some say he is short, fat and opressive. Do you, as Mayor of CWCville, have any advice for him?@undefined

From: John Gacy  Hi, Chris!

Great comics! I especially like the recent one where the guy magically pooed his pants. So funny! But I digress: I've been following your advice on trying to stay straight and it's working pretty well so far. I used to have such a problem being attracted to hot teenage boys and young men, but not anymore! I actually live in Charlottesville and noticed there's a sex store called Ultimate Bliss. Have you been? If so, what was your experience? Can you recommend any straight-oriented sex toys? I live with my mom right now and she might get weirded out if I order anything by mail, so I'd prefer to shop at a sex toy store in real life.

Thanks, and great comics again!

John G@undefined

From: Crystal Chondlar  I couldn't help but notice you told somebody in the mailbag to take criticism like a man and learn from it.

You have never done that. Once. Ever. You cry like a little bitch and run away, or you just completely ignore it. That inability to change is exactly why you are the failure that you are.

Now go throw this in the rejected section, you fucking hypocrite.@undefined

From: Jessica Lindon  Hi Chris...I have something I want to tell you. Something I've never been able to tell anyone else out of shame. I, well, I sometimes poo my pants when I'm nervous or people yell at me. It's really embarrassing, and I can't seem to stop. I tried talking to my doctor, but it didn't help. I know you used to suffer from the same problem, I was wondering if you could offer me some good advice? Like, what do you do to control yourself if you feel it coming on? Have you ever had an "accident" in public? What would you suggest as a method of hiding the smell/stains until I can get home & change?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. :]@undefined

help me <aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa@mail2Alcoholic.com> oh god help me@undefined

From: Joseph Barale <amenta101@yahoo.com> Dear Chris, I am a growing aspiring cartoonist and currently single male (and very much proud of it). I have been aware of you and your Sonichu creation for a while now. I even read all your Sonichu comics from scratch. I am pleased to see that you have a mailblog for your Sonichu following and I applaud you to that and wish you the best. However, you should also be more aware of your actions, but also your facts. You say that Autism in no way have any similarities to Aspergers where, in reality, they do share a lot of similarities with the symptoms. Saying that they do not share similarities without even achknowledging it is like stating that Pandorum is a real space hallucination disease (reference from the movie Pandorum). Also, I am quite appaled by your views of homosexuality and Gay Rights. I am not a gay man myself, but I support homosexuality and Gay Rights as much as I support Women Rights. It's not only a lifestyle, but a choice as well. Sometimes people like to follow or pursue on what feels right for them, even from childhood. That's how life works and that's the fun and beauty of it. But other than that, I wish you the best of luck with Sonichu and creativity in the future and I hope you have a safe and pleasant day. Peace. Joseph Barale@undefined

From: Alec-chan Asperchu <albasperchu@live.com> Chris,

This is Alec. Why have you not responded to the truly amazing comic I sent you?

I am referring of course to my one TRUE and HONEST creation, the original ASPERCHU, the electric/aspergers type hedgehog pokemon, which I recently showed to you as a token of my esteem for you. I think you are perhaps scared and confused by my rise to greatness. If I knew you were to ever be worried by my meteoric rise to fame, I would NEVER have written to you with such uncareful regard for your feelings. I wanted you to know that you have inspired me to GREATNESS, NOT to take anything away.

You have recently written your feelings on the ASPERGERS, which shows me that you are indeed worried that one such as I wants to take away your fame and glory, and I assure you this is simply the furthest from the TRUTH. Allow me to enlighten you on the real nature of the aspergers, which as you say is not like the autism. For one, we aspergers folks have the troubles with communicating to other people, we are very shy and have trouble making others to understand us. We also, secondly, have trouble with focusing too much on one thing at a time. I think that is where the confusion lies, for people see your utter DEVOTION to only Sonichu and your Playstation 3 and NOTHING ELSE as perhaps connected to aspergers; they do not realize that the fact you do not have time for the lesser things like work and friends as a sign of a TRUE and HONEST artist.

On a second note, I think you were scared of my speaking to you because I compared myself to you. You see, I did not mean to compare my ASPERGERS to your AUTISM, for as you say the two are totally and completely different and are never and have never been the SAME. The only way I wanted to compare myself to you is that as you are an artist, I aspire to be an amazing artist as well. I hope you will accept my peace offering of ASPERCHU and SONICHU meeting as friends that I have attached.

Your friend and protege,

Alec Benson Leary@undefined

From: Frank Capone <frnkcapone520@gmail.com> Hello Chris-

I have been reading Sonichu for a while now and have recently seen some of your Youtube videos. In one video, you explain that you drink your own "navy" or semen after you masturbate to recycle it. I assume you mean you want to put the sperm that left your body back into your testicles.

I do not know who told you this was how the human body worked, but this is NOT true. Your digestive system is not at all connected to your reproductive system. When you ingest your semen, it will go straight to your stomach, where the acid in there will KILL all the sperm. Sperm are very fragile and cannot survive for long outside of the protection of your testicles. In fact, the moment sperm exits your body, they are destined to die unless you FREEZE THEM. The heat and power of your stomach acid would definitely kill them.

If you are truly interested in saving all of your seed for future child bearing, I suggest you put all semen you produce through masturbation into your refrigerator or, even better, your freezer. That way you can later have a doctor put the frozen sperm into your wife.

Hopefully this has helped you in your quest for your future-daughter Crystal. I sincerely hope you have not already killed the seed that would create her by drinking it.@undefined

From: Nate Hughes <quickzta68@yahoo.com> Dear sir,

It has come to my attention that my sister has sent an e-mail to you without my permission. She called it a "CWC mailbag" when I confronted her about it. Now, she's 12 years old, so I did some reading on you, and I DO NOT APPRECIATE that my little sister's hero is 27 years old and lives with his parents, craps his pants on a regular basis and acts like an all around retard. This one video really gets to me. "I Got A Fish, Would you like to make a wish"????? That's like something a fucking two year old would make up. And I NEVER went shopping for "How to talk to girls", Jessie made that up too, just so you know. Grow up, and stop targeting children, you creep!!!!

Sincerely,

Nathan Patrick Hughes, Esq.@undefined

From: Gloria Steinem <gsteinem71@mail.com>

I have been an avid reader of your comic ever since I heard of the wonderful Sonichu #8. The Rosechus' fight for women's rights was the most beautiful depiction of a woman's fight for equality that I have seen in a long time.

However, I was deeply disturbed by the second page of the new comic. You say that you "did the do" with your future self's wife without her knowing it! I was appalled by this horrific act of rape in what I had thought was a brilliant comic book! A children's comic book! Lovely never really consented to having sex with you, but with your future self! The fact that you took advantage of her absolutely disgusts me. You were not the man she loved all those years. You were not the man she married. You knew that you could pass yourself off as being your future self and you used that to satiate your perverse sexual needs.

How dare you.@undefined

From: Alan McCallister <pushingdaisiesup@live.com>

Hi Chris,

I've been a longtime Sonichu fan and have been too afraid to e-mail you since I was too afraid you'd judge me. I'm a homosexual atheist doing undergraduate research at the University of Virginia on the effects of being a homosexual in predominantly Christian surroundings. I've had the good fortune of being able to see you on campus while I was collecting data.

As a scientific man, I was taken aback by a recent mailbag where you stated that drinking promotes homosexuality in children. What study did you cite for this? My mom never drank until after she had me and I turned out gay. After that she drank like a fish and my three brothers turned out straight. Are you sure because your mother didn't drink while you were pregant maybe that's why you turned out gay? I mean, come on man ... I know about the vibrator and anal beads. Truly and Honestly, Alan McCallister@undefined

From: Reginald Dwight <reginaldqdwight@gmail.com> Hey Chris,

We have a lot in common. We both like to dress in bright clothes, we're both rude and we're both "possibly retarded" (your words). The one difference we have is that I am openly gay and you have yet to come out of the closet. I was once like you. I even married a woman. I used to have sex with women a lot, but it was nothing. I had to accept I was gay and now I'm in a happy relationship.

Just remember this, Chris - if you weren't gay, you wouldn't have had sex with a woman by now.

Reginald@undefined

From: Shane Smith <donfelder1887@gmail.com> About Megan. Why did you even draw that picture of you fingerbanging her? You knew that was wrong, yet your desire for sexual promiscuity makes you do this.

I would be surprised if you got this letter.@undefined

From: maynard Isveli <maynardpattern@gmail.com> Chris, Hello, my name is Maynard. I am a young gay man from St. Louis. I know that you are very much against homosexuals, however, the other day I came across your sex video of you and your blowup doll on SlutLoad. I immediately started jacking off. I was so turned on looking at your hot plump rump. You are such a slut. With tons of gay man love Maynard@undefined

From: Black Anon <ablackanon@hotmail.com> hey chris my name is carly im a big fan of yours and the way you protrayed yourself in your comics i just knew you were a handsome and fit man oh boy was i wrong. I saw your videos on youtube and your fat as a whale and ugly as sin. Thats why no girl will talk to you cause you are an ugly overweight person. think about it no other woman (dont count family members) have never called you cute thats why you are still a 27 year oldd virigin cause if you looked good you would have been lost your virginty by now and have a sweetheart. Dont get mad though god made you fat ugly and retarded for a reason. Also how does it feel to be a failure compared to your brothers and sisters who have good careers?@undefined

From: Ron Jeremy <rjeremy1953@gmail.com> Chris,

Before I say anything else, I'd like to make it clear that I am straight and only have straight sex with women. But sometimes, when I'm alone, I like to suck my own dick. I've tried to stop doing it, as I have millions of women that I can have sex with at any time I want because I have a massive penis and I am a very, very attractive man. I'm so attractive and my penis is so big, if I were a homo, I'd fuck myself, hard. Yet even with women at my disposal, I still feel the need to do it. I fear that I may turn into a homo and fuck myself in the ass with my fucking massive cock because I'm so fucking hot! You, being such a hero for heterosexuals, like myself, must know how to stop these ungodly and sinful urges! I tried using crack to help me stop, but it just made me suck other guys dicks, so I stopped doing that. Have you ever had urges to sucked your own dick? If so, how did you stop them?

R. Jeremy@undefined

From: Crystal Chondlar <crystalchondlar@gmail.com> Saying you're sorry for the offensive things you're about to say doesn't make them acceptable, Chris. That is the mentality of a five year old, which is essentially what you are (on a good day). "I can do whatever I want as long as I say I'm sorry", no. You're technically twenty fucking seven years old, and you act like a child. A very, very young child.

Honestly, is it your mission in life to alienate yourself from every last person that still supports you? You had very few people on your side to begin with, and with each thing you do, that number continues to fade.

I wouldn't even call the larger group "trolls" anymore, Chris. Trolling implies things are being done at least partially just for amusement. I'm not sure that's the ase anymore. People legitimately hate you at this point, Chris. A lot of people. It isn't because you have Autism, and it certainly isn't because they're jealous. It's because as a human being, you fucking suck.

I doubt you read this, and I'm sure you don't have the balls to respond, but you need a fucking reality check. You need a reality LESSON, because you have absolutely no idea what reality is.@undefined

From: Johnny Winter <winterjohnny@ymail.com> Hi Chris! I recently read your spoilers regarding your return from the time void and it left me with one question: 1) When you briefly visited the future and recieved the shot of the straight gene to cure you, why didn't you think to ask them for the cure for being slow in the mind as well? Thanks and I can't wait for issue number 10!@undefined

From: gay_luvr_1979@homosexual.net Hey Chris, sweety, it's me!

I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed our sex-time together in the toilet of that Gay Club we went to. You're so sexy! I can't wait to see you again next week ;-)

So I'll pick you up at the airport at 5:30pm, okay? See you then, sweety!

Love and kisses, Tom

P.S. Wear that cute brown stripey shirt again, okay?

P.P.S. Have you told that told that prissy little girlfriend of yours that it's over yet? It gives me so much stress thinking of all the time you spend making sex-time with her when you should be with me! *sigh*@undefined

From: jdavs5000@aol.com My son was recently suspended from his school for a day for "kicking [another student] in the genitalia." When I asked him where he learned that shit, he told me "from Sonichu." Having no clue about this Pokeman shit (I'm not a ten year old kid), I looked it up as well as your Sonichu drawings.

While I support people standing up for themselves, what kind of pussy resorts to dirty fighting and hitting a man in the balls? Not a real man, I'll tell you that. What are you, Chris? 12 years old? I'd think so, judging by how you "fight" and all those fucking toys and your baby ass drawings.

Take my advice: grow up, grow a pair, get a fucking job, and move out of your mom's house. You're a burden on your goddamn parents, and not because you're handicap, but just because you're a fucking lazy slob who never grew up.@undefined

From: Sean Watley <seanawatley@gmail.com> Chris,

No one's fooled by your many separate mailbags where you refuse to answer perfectly legitimate questions. These people are your fans who took the time to write you. To me, it seems as if you have a lot to hide. Also, I've noticed that elsewhere on the site you've begged the admin to censor the questions before they even get to you:

"Please No Longer Include any messages addressing Autisim or Aspergers, or any that has even an inkling of homosexuality in it; I feel very stressed after having to read those messages; they really Grind My Gears."

Okay, I understand how hating homosexuals, acting like a homosexual and denying you're a homosexual all at once could cause stress. You've said on numerous occasions that you've had to push homoerotic thoughts out of your head. Heterosexual people do not do this. I'm not disputing that you like women as well. You're obviously bisexual and have great difficultly coming to terms with that.

But why refuse to answer questions about Autism, Chris? You've based a large part of your identity around having Autism and while you're not a medical doctor or a psychologist your personal experience on the subject is certainly relevant and valid. I'm sure your fans would love to hear all about your thoughts and experiences with Autism.

There are other questions where I don't see anything remotely offensive, yet you've refused to answer them. I find this extremely disrespectful.

As for my comics, I can only take your silence in response to my previous email as implied consent. I have also attached a new comic where you have explicit sexual intercourse with a number of Virginia State Troopers. I only hope that with it you can find peace.

Have a Nice Day,

Sean August Watley

Sonichu is Gay: Sonichu is Dead:@undefined

From: Jack Dison <jack.dison@hotmail.co.uk> Dear Chris,

I am absolutely disgusted with your current story arc in your comics and you should be ashamed of yourself. Homosexual people are happy with their lives and and hurt no one, they don't force their lifestyles or choices onto anyone, and for you to write a story where a "cure" is forced upon them like they have some sort of contagious disease is despicable, you wiping out gay people is akin to what Hitler did to the jews in world war 2. Are you going to have them round all the gays up into camps so they can "cure" them more easily? These people put up with enough bigotry and their lives can be hard thanks to narrow minded evil people like you. I demand that you stop this sick plotline and apologize to gay people for it, else I will personally see to it that everyone in your fanbase undetstands the kind of evil bigot that you are.

Shocked and appalled,

Jack Dison.@undefined

From: Shane Smith <donfelder1887@gmail.com> It's 18; I'm far from being a minor. I've seen porn. I see what they go through to do that stuff. And you saying that adults appreciate childish pictures of people fingerbanging their friends who happened to look like their imaginary sisters - drawn by a guy with the mindset of a 10-year-old who should be out in the job force but is merely driving this economy down by spending more disposable income - is plain bullshit. I know adults who aren't even bounded by a religion that disapprove of porn, especially when they direct the porn towards a wiki that appears to have been made in an anti-intellectual society (and gets on the point most of the time) and their 20-year-old friends who didn't even care about the artists. You, Chris, are irredeemable - you cannot be changed by any means of coercion or treatment. Your parents brought you into this mess and what do you do to pay them back? You fucking spend their disposable income on video games, kids' toys, and "hipster" stuff. I'm sorry to tell you the truth, Chris - you won't listen, as always, but I hope, if God willing, you suffer from something so bad, you'll regret your sloth ways and try to redeem yourself.

But you have already strained relations with everybody. From obvious impersonators to art critics, you made every one into a "troll". Well, guess what? You're going to be trolled unless if you die. You are, indeed, the mistake of God.@undefined

From: Nelson Sims <disenchanted_zero@yahoo.com> Why do you insist that images that feature you in "strange situations" are Photoshopped? Many of these images are actually stills from videos that you recorded, and clearly have not been edited in any way. Instead of lying about your past, perhaps you should instead acknowledge your misdeeds, and explain to concerned fans that you are no longer that same person. Insisting that the pictures of you that you don't want seen are Photoshopped is really just lying.

Please stop lying.

Thank you.@undefined

From: confidence1775@aol.com That cat wasn't getting "a little fussy." That cat seriously did not want you holding her. Stop tormenting cats, you fucking retard.@undefined

From: Shane Smith <donfelder1887@gmail.com> Sorry if I attempted to influence your thick skull, Chris, but I have more questions to ask you:

1. If Megan has constantly spoken to you in the past that she does not need a boyfriend due to some factors involved, then why do insist that she still wants you? If she wanted you, she would've rabbled the masses to make you win some insignificant contest, went with you to that video game con, and had sex with you so she could birth your daughter. How else do you explain why she and John moved out of state? Could it be that she was playing a joke with you all along; that John was indeed her boyfriend?

2. How could you think that anybody could be fooled into thinking that a more dapper teenager with a brown polo is you?

3. Do you really think Tiffany, with this influx of information coming in, would really dance with you at the high school reunion? I think otherwise; she has seen what you have become since you left Manchester to be taken care of by two uncaring parents who live off of pension. She will see you as the semen-drinking future rapist. There's no point in dancing with you; it's dancing with death.

4. Why do you assume that your voice is better than Frank Sinatra's? I have heard your albums and Frank's Wee Small Hours LP on different occasions - your voice is tone-deaf and it grates the ears while Frank's is smooth, dapper, and quite exquisite for a man in his mid-40s. And why do you rate your art higher than that of established artists? I can really see you boasting that "A Sonichu Christmas" is loads more better than Brave New World or anything by James Joyce; it's inevitable. You can't understand anything as complex as alienation or societal outcasting; you feed yourself on simple allegories and Goosebumps. If you wanted to really read, go on and read goddamn Ulysses or Slaughterhouse-Five. Maybe it'll get to you somehow that you're destined for bigger failure and you can't stop now.

5. Do you think Woody Allen teachers great "dating advice?" I mean; look at it! The guy appears to be a genius trapped in a pervert's body: he married his own "daughter." He supposedly touched one of Mia Farrow's naked children. He makes the same film over and over: a neurotic man goes to analysis, dates a girl, and fucks her while making sardonic comments about society. I like some of his films; he's different compared to that of watching Gone with the Wind ad nauseum. However, that does not help the fact that he's not a good moral teacher; if anything, that makes him less of the influential comedian he was and more of the unfunny Jew he's becoming.

6. Will you ever listen to Slint's Spiderland and appreciate something other than 1970s pop or boy bands? Even the most "indiefuck" of indie rock is better than boy bands or mediocre pop from struggling alt-rock artists! Well, I don't think you'd get it; even its normal time signatures are a foreign language to your common time brain. You wouldn't get the literary references or the messages behind the whining; you're too dosed on outright love songs that you'd have a hard time trying to get the story behind a man riding a roller coaster with a fortune teller. You're too childish to be a true furry or an indiefuck.@undefined

From: thespekkio@hotmail.com Dear Mr. Chandler,

I'm not really a fan, but recently I've become very familiar with your work. You see, I am a homossexual. For months I have been trying to come out of the closet, but my father is really conservative, and not wanting to disappoint him rendered me depressed. Talking to my therapist, she said you too strugled with your sexuality for a long time, but you managed to come out of your closet (even being Autistic!) in Redneck Virginia. If you could answer me this questions, it would mean a lot to me:

1-When did you realised you were a homosexual? 2-How did it feel? 3-Did your father took it well when you came out of the closet? 4-And how about your mother?

Thank you Mr. Chandler. Ray Garrity

P.S. - About Sonichu: I love it. The whole homosexual subtext in parodying the suggar-filled, merchandise driven world of childrens comic is brilliant. The way you portray the protagonist as a self hating homo trapped into a marriage so that he doesn't give in to his desires is pure genius. I hope in the end he ends up with Magi-chan. The whole "Opposites Atract" has been done ad nauseum, so I don't want the Sonichu-Blake ending that most of your fanbase expects. P.P.S.- Also, the gay rights ads: Thank you for using your talent and fame for keeping the cause alive. Soon we are going to be able to get married EVERYWHERE!@undefined

From: Sean Watley <seanawatley@gmail.com> Chris,

How are you dealing with the recent heavy snowfall? Since you have many symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder (which you can read all about on Wikipedia) like lack of empathy and remorse, lack of any realistic future goals, criminal behavior (like stealing your parents credit cards to buy video games), an inability to keep jobs, an inability to keep friends and maintain relationships, Narcissism, your persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social rules, obligations, and norms, and cruelty to animals (remember that snake you intentionally ran over this summer?) I hope you don't chop up your family in a fit of rage or anything.

You shouldn't hold your cat like that either, she doesn't sound like she wants to be picked up.

Oh, and why are you advising people to date women that remind them of their moms? That's pretty sick.

Happy Holidays,

Sean August Watley@undefined

From: Ray Fry <stinkyxpete@yahoo.com> I looked up the court record. According to it, your father took Nathanael Greene Elementary School to court in order to prevent them from sending you to a private institution. According to it, the teachers claimed you were unruly in class, that you routinely shouted in class during lessons (they audio taped you being disruptive during class time), and even had to be physically restrained. According to it, you put a little kid in the hospital after biting off a chunk of his nose. What do you have to say to this? Why would you do this, and then lie about it and make it out like teachers were bullying you when, in reality, you were a bad child? Why the smear campaign? And why did your parents continue mainstreaming you when you obviously needed professional help and to be surrounded by people who understood your autism (mainstream teachers shouldn't have to accommodate for retards like you when retards get special schools and special teachers)? Why, Chris? Why?@undefined

From: privatesnazz@aol.com How can your kitchen be so filthy? I wouldn't eat anything that comes out of it, and you should be ashamed to put it up on the internet.@undefined

From: Seth Sethson <totallyfine2@gmail.com> Chris, only one of the images in New York was photoshopped. There were like five total. Do the math.

New York still knows that you drink your own semen, and thus they all think that you're gay.

Also, there was an image of your mother put up. How's she reacting?@undefined

From: duo1138@yahoo.com

Chris, I've tried to fight the homo urges, but it's just become too hard. And after seeing the ads on CWCipedia, I've come to realize there is only one possible truth about myself.

I am gay.

Thank you for putting those ads up.

Hugs and kisses Queenie@undefined

From: Shane Smith <donfelder1887@gmail.com> Chris, how come you claim that I don't know you if you don't even know Megan? Tell me everything about her that we have not known about her. I know you - I know how that in 1994, you changed your name because some animatronic bear mispronounced it in 1993. It's in the newspaper. They also say you have the social intellect of a kid. Try telling me the opposite. I just know that you will lie. Come on. Lie to me. Curse to me. Curse me like you did Mike, Mimms, Mary, and Baggett. I happen to know a few of those people - they laugh at you. Why? You failed, Chris. You blew it.

Now, go watch something more important, like Easy Rider.@undefined

From: Seth Sethson <totallyfine2@gmail.com> "I am Straight, regardless of how much the Trolls may try to defile and slander my image."

That doesn't matter one bit, Chris. What you are is defined by what everyone else thinks of you, and the trolls are currently highly successful in their campaign to prove to the world that you are gay, so at the moment, you are gay to the world.

You can keep saying "I'm not gay, I'm not gay" over and over, but the trolls gain more followers every day.

Also, you lied when you said you haven't consumed your own semen in over a year. A video of you doing so got put online back in April. That is where the trolls have the stills they put up in New York.@undefined

From: Demetrius Delicioso <malebuttfinder@live.com> Dear Mr. Chandler, I am so pleased to see the success and views your CWCipedia gets regularly. I am also so proud to see that you have accepted advertising for Gay Rights. That's why I want you to be an advertising Partner of mine! I would like you to be another kind of Partner as well! ;)

I would like to propose that you sign a contract with my new gay dating agency based in Charlottesville. MaleButtFinder would love to pay you $1000 each month for ads on the CWCipedia!

Thanks, Demetrius Delicioso@undefined

From: Herr Feldgrau <reichsmarschallfeldgrau@gmail.com> Heil my white brother!

I was reading your comics and I find them to be a good representative of white nationalist values. The overwhelming presence of whites in your stories led me to believe that you would be sympathetic to our cause. I was thinking that Sonichu stories would be a great way to teach our beliefs to children. Would you be willing to give me permission to use Sonichu in such an educational manner? I promise full credit to you will be given on any work I may produce.

Blut und Ehre, Herr Feldgrau@undefined

From: Stan 'Sonichu's Biggest Gay Fan' Mathers <myteasgonecold@didomail.com> Dear Chris,

I wrote but you still ain't callin! I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom. I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not have got 'em... There probably was a problem with the hosting provider or something? Sometimes I type addresses too sloppy when I post 'em...

But anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man, do you still "hate" us homos? My boyfriend wants us to adopt a kid, I'm about to be a gay father! If we adopt a daughter, guess what I'ma call her? I'ma name her Rosey!

I read about your fan Ryan Cash, I'm sorry. I had a gay friend kill himself over some dude who didn't want him...

I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your Biggest Gay Fan! I even watched that hilarious rap that you did for Parappa. I got a room full of home-made posters with your drawings, man. I like the shit you did with LBP, too, that shit was phat!

Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat, truly yours, your Biggest Gay Fan,

This is Stan.@undefined

From: Jacob N. <jacob_n333@yahoo.com>

Good day, Chris!

"You are asking me to take Wild's girlfriend and Sweetheart away from him. Do not be such a monster." I'm afraid that he's in the right, Chris. You're experiencing what many comic companies suffer--what you might call "rights syndrome." When you use someone else's character, they still have the rights to that character, and what they say, goes. If you make any permanent changes to the character, you must get permission, and if the rights holder wants you to kill off or retire that character, you must.

This is why "shared universes" are so difficult to manage. Because Evang-y created Simonchu, he has the right to withdraw him from the setting. Seeing as how you also changed Simonchu's gender without permission, that's already a strike against you. You should fulfill your obligation as writer and creator and listen to Evang-y. This happens all the time. There's no easy fix, either. You should also be thankful that Evang-y has allowed you to keep Simonchu/"Simonla's" previous appearances, because otherwise you would have to redraw and rewrite those comics to exclude Simonla if he just wanted her retconned out!

As for Wild losing his "sweetheart," don't look at it as him "losing a sweetheart," but you gaining a whole metric ton of storytelling opportunities! Hardship and difficulty is the backbone of storytelling. You could devote an entire issue to the story of Simonla's final battles and death, then whole issues afterward about the aftermath of the event, especially Wild's reaction. The Sonichu comics are lacking in any sort of pathos. Comic-Chris doesn't seem to care a bit about his various sweethearts being killed or leaving, the entire team has forgotten about Crystal, and even Blake being raped by Silvana has been glossed over. (Having sex with someone under false pretenses, e.g. posing as someone they love even though they're not, is most definitely a rape.) Wild's true love being killed isn't something you can just gloss over. It will allow for all kinds of character growth and change--storytelling gold! Don't think of it as being "a monster" to Wild, think of it as tough love to make him better as a character.

I like my characters too, but it's not entertaining at all if the only changes that happen to them are for the better. Every character is defined as much, if not more, by loss than by gain, by their weaknesses as much as their strengths. If Peter Parker hadn't used his superhuman talents for petty gain, his uncle wouldn't have died; it's his grief over his uncle's death and shame over his selfishness that motivates him into becoming one of the greatest superheroes of all time, Spider-Man. It's his constant struggle between selfish gain and the greater good that makes him so entertaining, so fascinating, so well-rounded a character. When people try to make him less complex and more happy, as with the One More Day fiasco, it backfires dreadfully. You shouldn't be afraid to put your characters through the wringer... and in this case, you don't really have a choice, do you?

Good day to you, Chris.

--Jacob Nathaniel Lights-in-the-Sky of the Cherokee Nation@undefined

From: Sean Watley <seanawatley@gmail.com> Chris,

What's it like not having a conscience? It's pretty obvious that you're incapable of feeling guilt or remorse or even empathizing with other people. You drew pornography of your best friend, published it on the internet to prove some stupid point or affirm your manliness, and you only felt bad because Megan Schroeder stopped talking to you afterwards. You only befriend women because you want to have sex with them (some people would call this "nice guy" syndrome, but I think that it speaks to something much darker). And it's quite evident you're more interested in finding a woman to mooch off of when your parents die than entering into a relationship out of love. You're incapable of love because you only love yourself.

For somebody with "autism" you sure don't know a lot about it. I mean, you get basic facts about the disorder wrong, and become infuriated when people try to correct you. For starters, "High-functioning autism" isn't a formal diagnosis, and Asperger's Syndrome and autism are on the same spectrum. I think you found out about autism sometime in your teens and started using it as an excuse for your immaturity, lack of empathy, selfishness and disturbed behavior, and took the scam further in adulthood by getting disability money out of it. People with autism recognize they have limitations and get help to overcome or work around those limitations. Despite their autism they put forth effort to survive in a world they do not understand.

Autistic people don't run over small animals repeatedly and call it "the highlight of their day." Autistic people don't try to impersonate a woman's boyfriend and lure that woman to their home so they can rape them. Autistic people don't go around saying they want to force sex on their pastoral counselor. Autistic people don't steal their elderly parents' credit cards to finance their video game addiction. Autistic people don't commit fraud by purchasing Guitar Hero track packs from stores, using the codes to download the content, and then returning them for a refund or selling them on eBay, which is fraud. And they certainly don't brag about it in YouTube videos. Where did that big TV in your room come from, Chris? Did you steal that, too?

You constantly talk about murder and death in your videos. You fired up the video camera on Christmas Day to record more death threats. You suggest that people kill themselves because you don't like them. You sing along to Insane Clown Posse, (which is disturbing since you're almost 30) a group that makes light out of gruesome murder. You gave a "shout out" to the Columbine killers. And don't pretend you don't know who they are, you were enrolled in high school at the time of the massacre and there's no way you couldn't have heard about it, no matter how sheltered you were. And these are things you've done over the past few weeks.

The whole "Sonichu" thing and you acting like a bumbling, ignorant manchild is just an act, right? No 27-year-old would wear a cartoon medallion out in public and dress up like a mentally retarded person and film themselves playing house with Legos. This is an obvious charade: faking autism as an excuse for your horrific behavior and for disability money so you can sit in a room full of toys and play video games all day, and your only goal in life is finding a woman (or a guy) you can exploit sexually and financially. Doing what you're doing is extremely offensive to people who actually have autism and don't act anything like you. You obviously don't give a shit about them since you refuse to associate with anyone with autism, possibly out of a fear of getting caught.

I think you're a psychopath, Christian Weston Chandler, and the fact that you will once again avoid responsibility for your actions by refusing to read or answer this will only confirm my suspicions.

Have a nice day,

Sean August Watley@undefined

From: J D <jdrexcess@gmail.com> Hi Chris, I'm a big fan of your work, and I share your views on homosexuality-- a topic which seems to pop up frequently in the mailbag.

A friend of mine recently posed me a moral question, which I thought was pretty interesting: If you could save the life of a person you didn't know by having gay sex, would you do it? It's an interesting moral dilemma. Personally, I couldn't think of anything more repulsive in the world than having gay sex, but to save the life of a random person, I might actually do it. But I haven't quite made up my mind. How would you respond to this question? Would you have gay sex to save someone's life? Of course, this is a hypothetical situation and would probably never happen in real life, but I'm curious as to how you'd deal with it?

JD@undefined

From: creampie4sonichu@aol.com hello mr chandler my is rufus shinra and me and me fellow gay associates find sonicu to be a BIG testament to the gay community. We just love the way you lace each of your comics with gay tributes and etc. One thing that we really love is how you protray sonichu as a man struggling with his sexuality. On the outside he is "happily" married to rosechu but on the inside he is ready to come out. We have already figure out sonichus secret gay lover is magichan sonichu i mean magichan is purple (one of us gays most fabolous colors) he has no woman and he is mysterious. we can wait till you make sonichu and magichan and offical couple on your pages. Oh yeah me and my friend would like to invite you and another person to our gay club where we are going to have a sonichu theme party. We are going to pay your way here cause it would be a honor to have the man who made sonichu to be here. Who knows you might just find your significant other at this party. Once again thanks for makin sonichu for us gays to enjoy.@undefined

From: Trevor Wierzbowski <silentbughunters@yahoo.co.uk> What the hell is with the whole idea of brainwashing homosexuals into being straight? It isn't a choice for them, it's not like they woke up one morning and said "You know what? I feel like bumming a fellow male today and see if I like it!" It's who they are and they can't help that! The whole idea of forcing them into something they are not is just wrong! It would be like if someone rounded up everyone who had any form of autism and put them into a mental institution. What gives you the right to change other people into something they aren't? The hell is wrong with you? -Trevor P.S. You didn't bother answering the part of my previous email which asked you what you would think God and Jesus would think of your death threat to Jack.@undefined

From: Alec-chan Asperchu <albasperchu@live.com> Christian,

Thank you for accepting myself as a fellow Titan in the ranks of comic drawing! It is good to know that I have reached the top rank. I am currently in talks with the fellows on the Cartoon Network to possibly do a series of ASPERCHU-based short cartoons (3-5 minutes) that will air during their Adult Swim Broadcast; telling them that you have given me the Blessing as a Professional Artist will speed up the talks most certainly. Thank you as well for providing such a detailed answer to my question. I confess that You have confused me greatly. You say several things that make me wonder what it is you mean, and I would like if you can clarify.

For example, You say the sentence "Aspergers supposed being similar to Autism, which although I have accepted that, I still disagree heavily on it being even ASSOCIATED with Autism as a type. Aspergers is NOT a Type Of Autism Whatsoever." Now, in the first part of that sentence, you say that you have accepted that the Aspergers is similar to the Autism, but in the next several words you say that Aspergers is NOT related to Autism. Your sentence has two parts, which each contradict the other.

In another part of your response, You say that "I accept no relation between [Asperchu] and my works and characters, and with that I stand behind my statement of and labeling of Asperchu as a Parody." Now, this confuses me because a parody by definition is RELATED to its parent work, as parody is a deliberate imitation of the work on which it is based, yet you say that my ASPERCHU is not at all related to your Sonichu. That is true - My ASPERCHU is in fact my own ORIGINAL creation and not in any way related to your Sonichu. But then only several words after admitting this, you say that you stand behind your belief that ASPERCHU is a parody of Sonichu. I do believe that perhaps you do not have the good understanding of just what a Parody really is, and my attempt to show you through drawing an actual parody page has failed.

Please clarify both of these statements, Christian, as as they are now it seems you are trying to have two outcomes that are the Mutually Exclusive be true in each one of them, which of course is not possible. Either Aspergers is related to Autism or it is not (IT IS), and Either ASPERCHU is a Parody of Sonichu or it's not (it is NOT).

Also, I do have one last point to query about. You remark that I have made ASPERCHU into a "blatant homosexual male with such drawings of such dictation". I am confused by this, as I have NEVER drawn ASPERCHU to be making any dictations (by which I mean speaking, as that is the definition of the word) about being a homosexual; in fact throughout the Issues of the Comic he has pursued several GAL-PALS to make into a SWEETHEART, which is the heterosexual thing to be doing. In fact, you should read the conclusion of the latest Issue, as he does in fact acquire a sweetheart, the wonderful, caring, sweetest Dixie Chu. Perhaps your critical eye sees something in my Creation that I Myself did not notice putting in there, but to me ASPERCHU has always been a beacon of Heterosexual Virility and Pride. Conversely, you have yourself drawn Sonichu as being of the Homogay persuasion quite frequently, such as whenever Sonichu has intimations with his Boyfriend Rosechu, and also the Most Blatant Example is when you drew that Graphically Hardcore honeymoon comic where you had Sonichu turn blue and make sweet passionate love to that redheaded fellow.

So please, be so kind as to explain these quandaries to a wondering mind such as mine.

Your Protege and Bestest Joy-Boy,

Alec Benson Leary@undefined

From: Jane Austen <littlemissausten@yahoo.com> Chris, I'm a long-time fan of the comic and find you a great role model for a writer dealing with adversity, being one myself, but one thing does concern me. In your recent FAQ section, you mention how it is common practice to use ideas from other media when otherwise out of ideas. You then cite the South Park episode "Simpsons Did It" as a reference. That South Park episode featured unintentional copying of ideas by Butters and could serve as a commentary to how difficult it is to come up with original ideas. However, you intentionally copy ideas from other shows. In fact, you go so far as to rip characters, plots, and characters wholesale from other works. This is at best lazy writing and at worst copyright infringement.. Just because you can get away with this practice does not make it ethical or encouraged. I find this very disappointing from an otherwise accomplished writer such as yourself. So, are you lazy, uncreative, a plagiarist, or some combination of all three? I'd appreciate more originality from you in the future, especially if you hope to be a role model for other young writers such as myself. Thank You, Jane@undefined

From: Bob Bobson <totallyfine1@gmail.com> "I have told those trolls that they are the scum of the earth,"

Newsflash: Trolls don't care about being insulted. Attempting to insult one is like trying to douse a wildfire with oil--it only makes them stronger.

"and that they give their kind of people,"

Trolls have always had a bad name and they enjoy having one, so again they don't care.

"specifically Clyde and Jack giving their Homosexual Male kind a worse name, in videos on YouTube and such."

Is this like the supposed "blackmail" you attempted when you grabbed a random gay sex image off of google images and claimed that it was Clyde? Because, I'm pretty sure he's heterosexual, what with raping Panda and all. Jack I don't know about.

Or did Clyde just say that he supports gay rights and you jumped to conclusions and decided that he must be gay? Because, y'know, it's possible to be straight and still support gay rights. Just like how it's possible to like both Pokemon and Harry Potter, but you failed to understand even that.

Really Chris, I'm starting to think that the trolls are right about your lack of intelligence. I should let you know that I'm a very well respected fan and if I leave, I'll take a sizable chunk of the fanbase with me. Fans are money, and you'd better show your report cards and prove me wrong or else you'll lose out.@undefined

From: Evang7 <evang7@gmail.com> To Christopher Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler,

Thank you for finally getting back to me and giving me a GOOD reason for why you won't remove Simonla. I understand why you have been so reluctant to do this now!

However, the reason I trust you do kill her in the story is because you can write from your experiences. You have had many Sweethearts who have Tragically Died; you know the Pain and Heartbreak Wild would suffer if something happened to Simonla. It is a Tragic, Real Life Experience that happens to people Every Day. I think adding this to your story would be an Interesting Twist should you spend an entire chapter dedicated to Wild losing his Heartsweet and recovering with the help of Sonichu and the Gang, and maybe finding new love?

However, if you can think of a GOOD, PERMANENT way to remove Simonla without causing the Heart Break, PLEASE do it and PLEASE show it actually happening in the comics; Usually when people die in Sonichu or Leave Forever it happens Off-Screen; my lawyers want to SEE Simonla leaving the story before they can Legally Accept it.

-Evan@undefined

From: Evang7 <evang7@gmail.com>

To the REAL Christopher Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler,

I am TRULY SORRY, my last e-mail ACCIDENTALLY went through to the IMPOSTOR IN BROWN. He is TRICKY and I never meant to mistake him for you. I would LOVE to see him get his Comeuppance in future reappearances in the Sonichu series. SO MANY of my attempts at coming to a solution with you over the Legal Matter of Simonla have accidentally wound up in his Nefarious Hands.

My lawyers have found a Loophole that might be able to Save You; Apparently, while using my Simonchu is ILLEGAL and will get you in JAIL, and Simonla counts as a RIPOFF right now, there's one other way to fix it. You can apparently turn her Into A Man and it will make her a PARODY of my Simonchu instead of just a Ripoff. You could Write a Story about maybe Slaweel Ryam uses Evil Hexes to curse Simonla and give her male genitalia, and show how Wild and Simonla cope with this in The Relationship.

HOWEVER, it's Still Legal if she Turns Back to Normal in the end. As long as she Becomes a Man for a whole Chapter, No Lawsuits will be necessary and Wild won't have to lose his Heartsweet to a Tragic, Permanent Death (which remains the only other solution).

I know this isn't a Pleasant Solution, but I think it's a chance for Both Characters to Grow without the necessity of Death. This will make Everything Legal regarding Simonchu/Simonla if you do this story URGENTLY, if a Story dealing with Simonla either being Killed Off or Turned into a Man isn't at least STARTED by February, my Lawyers say that Simonla's appearance is TOTALLY ILLEGAL and we will have to SUE. I will try and Push This Off to a later date if you Show Cooperation, however.

Thank You for your Assumed Cooperation, and Look Out For the Return of Simonchu Soon, Evan Christopher George, Simonchu's TRUE Creator@undefined

From: kawaiinamine32@aol.com Thank you for answering my questions, though you didn't answer them, for lack of a better word, well. I'm kind of offended by the "competing". How are we, people with Aspergers Syndrome, like that? Please tell me. as for Black Sonichu or whatever his name is now, he has an individual what? That answer made no sense! Did you mean he's an indivual something? Hedgehog-pokemon? Creature? An indiviual who for some reason HAS to have a "heartsweet" like everyone else? I personally think he'd be better off being alone, but whatever. You must be joking about your rating, all the panty shots, Rosechu being nude and tearing into someone's head, gratutious Hedgehog-pokemon sex, partial nudity and people being killed off with detailed deaths...Yup, this is definitely made for children.@undefined

From: Jouko Mies <joukomies@luukku.com> Hi Chris!

Do you really think that you would be able to raise a child? Don't you think that you should be castrated, so that you wouldn't be able to spread your filthy autistic genes? Also, did you know that high-functioning autistics are 19 times more likely to be child molesters?@undefined

From: Gillian Seed <gillianseed@suremail.info> Hi, Chris.

I noticed that you're very close to turning 30. You'll turn 28 this year. And in only two years, you'll hit the big three-oh.

While, normally I'd be happy for you. I unfortunately have some bad news. In today's society, 30 is what is typically known as the "unfuckable age" (don't get mad at me, I didn't invent the term).

Basically, the older you get, the harder it is to score. And when you're 30, things become extremely grim. Girls don't date guys old enough to be their father, just as you wouldn't date someone 20 years older than you.

Guys always try to lose their virginities before they get to age 30. Those that don't tend to end up miserable. In fact, people who are 30 or older virgins aren't considered normal.

That's why countless movies are made laughing at those in this situation (like "40 Year Old Virgin") and laughing how ridiculous it would be such people could lose their virginity.

Sadly though, real life isn't as comedic. That's about as lightly as I can put it. The good news is, you've still got 2 years.

Do you plan on losing your virginity before then, or will you become "the 30 year old virgin" and witness first hand how people in your situation are treated as the butt of every joke?

I know, it's a bad position to be in. But hang in there, Chris.

Sincerely, Gillian Seed@undefined

From: Madison B. Henderson <mhendersonb@yahoo.ca> Hello, Christian You said that you intend to video tape yourself having sex with a woman against her wishes. This is extremely illegal and considering your arrest record, you would go straight to prison, where you belong. It doesn't matter that you intend to blurr out her face. Guys like you are used like sexual currency in prisons and you should bear that in mind before you commit this grievous crime. Any Americans reading this should report you to the police to stop you commiting the crimes you have threatened to do.@undefined

From: Krayt Soto <kraytsoto@gmail.com> Hello Christian, I recently came across your Sonichu comic here on the cwcipedia and noticed it was very similar to another webcomic I love to read, Asperchu (the electric/aspergers hedgehog pokemon). Did you get permission from Alec Benson Leary to use the minor character sonichu from his webcomic? You should probably acknowledge your comic as a parody of his somewhere on your website even if you didn't. Personally I don't find it very funny to take someone else's work and write/draw it like an 8 year old but to each their own I suppose. Yours in christ, Krayt Soto@undefined

From: Hurp Derp <napplev2@gmail.com> Hi Chris, let me first say I'm a huge fan of your comics and have been reading them for 3 years now.

I was wondering this: do you ever have any homosexual feelings toward your father? Because I think it would be a good addition to your comic. Maybe a four-way between you, your dad, Sonichu and Asperchu? I think that would be yum.

Oh, and how many Sonee have you fucked? I say 6, my friend says 9.@undefined

From: Richard Allonger <longhardroadtonowhere@mail.com>

Chris, I noticed in that Mr. Plow video that you recently made that the shirt you've worn for the past 3 days says "RUGBY" on the back, and that you seem to love wearing rugby shirts for some reason. The sport of rugby is quite popular in various gay communities in America. Isn't that interesting? Your favorite type of shirt comes from a sport that gay people love! Here's the website of the biggest league: http://www.igrab.net/

Richard Allonger@undefined ((EmailReply|My mother bought the shirt for me FROM a Goodwill; just because I wear it does not mean that there is anything favored about it.}}

From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com> Chris, here's my response to your BLATANT CENSORSHIP and DENIAL OF FREE SPEECH in Mailbag 41.

"1) Alec and his crew have No Right Whatsoever on MY original Sonichu/Rosechu Characters; I Never Ever Gave Him OR his crew ANY permission to use them At All."

Did Sega give you permission to use Sonic and Eggman? How about Nintendo? Did they let you use Giovanni or any Pokemon?

No. They didn't. The only way Sonichu can stay afloat is because it is a PARODY. And PARODIES do not need to ask permission.

"2) I never gave him permission to place ANY advertisements for his Low-Rate Work and Copycat Website; he bought Jack Thaddius out WRONGFULLY. I still Disapprove of his ads in any shape or form regardless of image content. "

You have no right to decide on this, the SysOp needs to keep the website up some how. And if it were not for her efforts, the website would have crashed by now.

I mean, she certainly cares about keeping the site up. You nearly got it destroyed when you stole from Coke and Fox.

"4) The Cwcipedia IS DESIGNED MAINLY FOR the Original Sonichus and Rosechus in and around Cwcville, Virginia; Alec and his blocky-drawn characters are in Minnesota, and therefore are NOT Associated Officially With Cwcipedia OR the world of Cwcville."

Blocky? Chris, perhaps you don't realize that half the time you can't keep the size of a character consistent. Body parts inflate and deflate at random and at one point a character went from square to spherical within the same page. Heck, people could write a book on your horrible drawings.

"5) At the time, I have done Comparison Drawing within the recent 12 pages I have drawn and uploaded between HIS drawing style and Mine. Obviously Mine is the Superior, because it is more pleasant to look at, and it was Hand-Drawn, versus Computer-Drawn which Alec and his crew have chosen for their media. Officially, I still have NO association with Alec at all, even after this short-time addition within the 10th Book."

Chris, you can't judge your drawing style and his because you're biased in your own favor.

I personally think Alec is a better artist. At least he always provides a goddamn background and doesn't textwall out of pure lazyness.

"7) From this day forward, Any and All future messages that DO NOT ADDRESS Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville, Myself (Christian Weston Chandler), or anything that is originated ONLY ON the Cwcipedia will be DELETED. ADDRESS ALL Asperchu inquires ONLY to Alec Benson Leary on HIS COPYCAT WEBSITE"

This relates to you, the comic, and how you can't draw. So yeah, if you delete this I'll know that you're lying out your ass. AGAIN.@undefined

From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com> "You think I DENY MY OWN MISTAKES, ERRORS and ORDEALS?"

Here are a few examples:

You lied to your father about having the house videos off of the internet.

You tried to lie your way out of trouble at Wal-Mart

You lied about having reached an agreement with Evan.

You tried to downplay the fact that you shit your pants.

You claim that you're not fat.

You claim that your art is good(Your family and congregation don't count, they're just saying so to be polite).

You lie about being related to Ann Boylen.

You're probably lying about the honor roll.

Just to name a few.

"Well, at least I do answer my Letters."

Many times you don't even answer the question. Stuffing some words under a letter doesn't count as an answer unless they answer the question asked in the letter.

One letter asked you to describe why you didn't like Asperchu and you began rambling about nightmares.

Oh, and "Whatever" and "No comment" aren't answers.

"And I am certain he deletes EVERY LAST LETTER he is the least offended by, or REWORDS ALL of such;"

Did you know that due to the magic of Wiki software, you can go back to earlier versions of a page or even track edits made?

Alec has never done this and the history on Asperpedia is proof.

You, on the other hand, have attempted to reword five letters and have utterly deleted sixty five.

So you've freaked out over seventy total emails while Alec has yet to even move ONE to his alternate mailbags or delete it.

That just proves that Alec can deal with his fans in a far more civil manner. :p

"AT least I put most of those letters in a seperate bag and give them notice and attention appropriately."

You have not used any of the separate Mailbags since Mailbag 24 and the Rejected Mailbag has seen minimal use since Mailbag 30.

"I feel distraught when I have to put up with such, and I am certain all the other artists do the same, even worse by tossing them into the trashcan like an office person who makes it fun with balling up the paper and shooting the hoop."

No, not listening to your critics is something idiots do. Trust me, I know artists.

"At Least I give every one of my letters full reading time and thought."

A few mailbags ago you said you gave each letter about a minute or two of reading. Hypocrite.@undefined

From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com> I think a reboot would be an excellent idea.

Think of all the problems you could solve!

You could remove Simonla without killing her, thus pleasing Evan! Seriously just do it, nobody cares about her and you can use the reboot to alter the pairings.

You could properly alter Raichu's tail so Rosechu won't be female!

You could avoid all of the homophobic bullshit that caused people to hate you in the first place!

You could remove yourself from the comic completely without looking like you're frantically trying to tie up loose ends!@undefined

From: untidyproblem@selfaware.com

How many diapers do you personally go through a week on average? Or do you wear cloth diapers instead of disposables?@undefined